Generic Mail

My friend sent me this link a week ago:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/the-lay-scientist/2010/sep/24/1

I sent him this letter in reply:

Your Name,

Here I will reply that the link you sent was nice, to boost your ego and to assure you do not mark all my future mails as spam.

I will then give some other link to a similar parody, perhaps the youtube one on the Oscar-winning-trailer. I will remark that your article was cute, but this one is better, to boost my ego and assert my worth as a source of information and unique internet jokes.

I will then break to a different paragraph to show that this is an unrelated subject.

I will ask about your health and work – to show that I care about you and that our communication is not all about one-liners regarding internet quirks. This is also done to boost my self esteem and belief that I am not a helpless misanthrope. Also email is cheaper than phone calls.

I may break to yet another paragraph, to show that this is an extensive letter which I have invested much time in. Yet another step away from that misanthrope pole.

I will say something touchy about my girlfriend so you think I have mended my ways. This is in fact true. I will ask again when you plan to come back, although I know perfectly well you are back on the 16th. I am at a loss to describe why this redundancy is required.

Another paragraph for farewells.

I may try some lame pun or allude to our mischievous past so you still think I am "bad" and have not yet mended my ways. This is in fact true.

Some worn out goodbye statement,

My Name