My friend sent me this link a week ago:
I sent him this letter in reply:
Here I will reply that the link you sent was nice, to boost your ego and to assure you do not mark all my future mails as spam.
I will then give some other link to a similar parody, perhaps the youtube one on the Oscar-winning-trailer. I will remark that your article was cute, but this one is better, to boost my ego and assert my worth as a source of information and unique internet jokes.
I will then break to a different paragraph to show that this is an unrelated subject.
I will ask about your health and work – to show that I care about you and that our communication is not all about one-liners regarding internet quirks. This is also done to boost my self esteem and belief that I am not a helpless misanthrope. Also email is cheaper than phone calls.
I may break to yet another paragraph, to show that this is an extensive letter which I have invested much time in. Yet another step away from that misanthrope pole.
I will say something touchy about my girlfriend so you think I have mended my ways. This is in fact true. I will ask again when you plan to come back, although I know perfectly well you are back on the 16th. I am at a loss to describe why this redundancy is required.
Another paragraph for farewells.
I may try some lame pun or allude to our mischievous past so you still think I am "bad" and have not yet mended my ways. This is in fact true.
Some worn out goodbye statement,